


feel like im human

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: Blood, Cutting, Its not like...bad...but please tread carefully, M/M, Uh. Yeah.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:14:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27296251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Cut me.” Gaara says. It sounds like an order. “My forearm, specifically. Make me bleed.”
Relationships: Gaara/Uchiha Sasuke
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	feel like im human

**Author's Note:**

> i found this in my docs earlier and i needed something to post. ill likely be orphaning this later. TW for cutting its not self harm per se but pleaseee tread carefully as said above

Gaara’s eyes are glued to Sasuke, unnerving and penetrating. In his hand is a knife; a ceremonial one, carved into its steel with runes and ancient words intricately written with a lost tongue. Sasuke could assume it was from the darker days of Suna’s history, times where hushed groups gathered to worship their gods and sacrifice for the prosperity of their village. 

“Cut me.” Gaara says. It sounds like an order. “My forearm, specifically. Make me bleed.” 

The Uchiha told himself that he didn’t want to hurt Gaara, that it was the last thing he’d ever want to do to him when they were both learning to heal again. But somewhere in the darkness of his subconscious held a need for blood, a need to induce pain and to make someone _ hurt _ . It ate at his brain like a parasite, itching at him every time Gaara asked for something like this. The Kazekage wanted to know pain, define it, feel it, memorize it and Sasuke seemed to be an obvious choice to inflict it onto him. The Uchiha wanted to be disgusted by how he felt when hurting the other man despite the nature of their arrangement , biting back his moaning and his once flawless body being decorated with bruises soon to be replaced with fresher ones. It lit something up in his chest, a feeling that made him feel like he had some type of power and control for the first time in his life. It made him dizzy and euphoric, the disgust and resentment he felt for his own mind being tossed away for just a moment of pleasure.  _ Pleasure.  _ That’s what he felt when he hurt Gaara. (Sasuke wondered if it was a side-effect of Orochimaru’s torture regimen.)

Sasuke reached for the knife almost impulsively. “Give me your arm.” He said coldly, feeling the intricacies of the steelwork under his fingertips. The blade was still sharp even after years of disuse, no less crafted by a rather skilled blacksmith; Suna had always been known for its metalworking. Gaara held out his forearm gingerly, moving his gaze down to his arm now gripped in Sasuke’s hand. The Uchiha looked over his skin for a moment, taking in just how clean it was of scarring and blemishes. It was like a blank canvas, begging to be marked on. He pressed his thumb into Gaara’s wrist first, noting the major arteries there. He would have to move up further, near the elbow most likely if he didn’t want to risk unnecessary blood loss. He found where he wanted to begin and brought the knife up to it. 

He pulled the knife through Gaara’s flesh slowly, making sure he felt every bit of the pain coming with it. The Kazekage bit back a scream, biting his lip enough to draw blood. Sasuke made sure to stop before reaching his wrist, pulling the knife out to see his handiwork. Blood pooled out of the wound, soaking Gaara’s arm in maroon. He winced at the stinging still present, though his gaze would not leave the sight of seeing his blood. Sasuke wondered if this was the first time he’s ever seen it himself, to see himself bleed like a human. To take himself down a few notches, to remind himself he’s a person and not a figure of worship and sand.

“Are you okay?” The Uchiha asked, his eyebrows knitted together. Usually he wouldn’t worry too much about leaving new marks on Gaara’s skin, but this was much different(too similar to Orochimaru’s favorite torture method). Worry burned in the pit of his stomach, threatening to come up into his throat. He placed the knife on a nearby table and pressed his palm onto the cut, holdly it firmly until Gaara was able to talk again.

“It’s...a new feeling.” Gaara replied finally, bringing his gaze up to meet Sasuke’s. “Thank you.” There’s the ghost of a smile on his lips. 

*

“That’s gonna leave a scar.” Sasuke says as he cleans up the wound afterward. His hands are gentle with the new cut, pressed against it as he used a simple medical ninjutsu technique. Sakura had taught him it, he remembered,  _ just in case _ . He wondered what Sakura would say about what he’s using it for; she’d probably lecture him about it in a tone similar to a mother, or she might attempt to hit him over the head for what he did to even use it.

“I appreciate you doing this for me.” Gaara remarked. “If Temari and Kankuro saw me like this I don’t think they’d even let me go to the bathroom without Anbu at my side.” The pain had subsided for the most part, all left a faint throbbing pain easily ignored. 

“Don’t mention it.” Sasuke replied, pulling a set of bandages out of one of his pockets to wrap the wound. He began to dress Gaara’s arm tightly to make sure it would heal correctly, humming as he worked. Once he was done, he rubbed his hand against the rough texture of the bandages. “I’d be wearing long sleeves for a little while if I were you.” The Uchiha smirked at his own comment. Gaara grinned at that and rubbed his own bandaged arm. 

They then sat in a comfortable silence for what felt like hours, taking in the quiet. Sasuke enjoyed that aspect of their relationship more than anything; he didn’t like to be stuck in meaningless conversation and Gaara didn’t talk much already. Silence brought them both an odd feeling of peace, each others presence being enough.

They looked up at the same time after the silence came to a close, eyes locking and unable to look away. Sasuke leaned in closer almost hesitantly, like a magnet was pulling him towards the other man. His hands reached for Gaara, finding their way to his thighs to press into. The warmth of his body had once been almost too much for Sasuke, it being a stark contrast to the bitter cold he had always felt. It wasn’t like that anymore, having grown accustomed—maybe obsessed—with the feeling of someone else under his touch.

Gaara brought their lips together quickly, pressing into the other man’s body comfortably. They’ve done this too many times before, finding comfort in each others touch when there was nothing else. The Kazekage’s hands wandered Sasuke’s body, running through his hair and down his back like he was trying to memorize it, like this was the last time he’d ever see him again. Sasuke leaned into it easily, pulling Gaara closer by his waist. They parted for just a moment to catch their breath before returning, the kiss growing more heated with each passing second.

Sasuke didn’t remember much after that, only the fleeting motions of Gaara dragging him to bed and his moans echoing against the clay walls of his bedroom. Sasuke had been kind and gentle with the bandaged area on Gaara’s arm, holding it over above his head so it may stay out the way; Sasuke also assumed his sand would cover it if he had drawn too close to it. His sand was odd in that way, that Gaara had to concentrate so his sand wouldn’t get in the way of his regimens. Why Gaara would want to feel pain was completely lost to Sasuke, as all he’d known was the stinging dread in his chest and wounds that never fully healed, but he didn’t bother with asking; that was Gaara’s business, not his own.

Maybe Suna shinobi, or Gaara specifically rather, was just odd in that way.


End file.
